Writing a memoir is like excavating your own life - you never quite know what you'll uncover or how deep you'll need to go. As I reflect on the journey of writing Sanctuary, I want to share some key insights into the process that shaped this deeply personal work.
The first and perhaps most challenging decision was choosing which stories to include. Initially, I poured everything onto the page as a therapeutic exercise. But then came the careful process of examining each story through multiple lenses: Would it hurt someone? Would it serve the larger narrative? Did it align with the core theme of anxiety that emerged as the book's foundation?
Privacy was another crucial consideration. I made the decision to change all names and locations, which had an unexpected benefit - it created enough emotional distance for me to view my own story more objectively, almost as if I were observing someone else's life.
Self-doubt was a constant companion throughout the writing process. The question "Does my story matter?" haunted me regularly. What helped me push through was receiving feedback from early readers who found emotional resonance in my experiences. I realized that while everyone's story is unique, the underlying emotions - anxiety, loss, struggle - are universally human. This understanding led me to transform the book from a pure memoir into more of a personal development guide, complete with reflection questions to help readers apply insights to their own lives.
The actual writing process was anything but linear. Unlike my first book, which I wrote in disciplined Saturday morning sessions over six weeks, Sanctuary took four years to complete. I allowed myself to write when the emotional energy was there, sometimes leaving the manuscript untouched for months at a time. While this might not be the most efficient approach, it felt right for the deeply personal nature of this work.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned was about getting help at the right time. Initially, I was convinced I needed a ghostwriter, but that collaboration helped me realize I needed to tell this story in my own voice. Later, working with editors at different stages proved invaluable - one helped with structural elements, another with developmental aspects, and a third with final copy editing and integrating the personal development elements.
My writing style evolved throughout the process, becoming more raw and simplistic. I learned that emotional resonance often comes not from impressive vocabulary or beautiful syntax, but from honest, straightforward storytelling that connects directly with readers' hearts.
For those considering writing their own memoir or personal story, my advice is simple: don't talk about your project while you're working on it. Save that energy for the actual writing. Let what's welling up inside you pour directly onto the page.
Success, for me, wasn't about sales numbers or building a platform. It was about creating something authentic that might help others feel less alone in their struggles. It was about leaving behind a legacy piece that speaks to the universal human experience of facing our fears and finding our way through them.Most importantly, I learned that there's tremendous power in owning and sharing our stories. While we can't control everything that happens to us, we have agency in how we process and share these experiences. Through vulnerability comes strength, and through sharing comes connection.
Click here to purchase Sanctuary: https://serendipity12th.com/sanctuary-by-cara-baker/